The Pieces You Left of Me
by dayz92
Summary: "I couldn't believe this was happening.The one person I tried to get over; only to find he'd moved on and looked happy with her." Eli doesn't know whats about to happen to his life. If you thought he was messed up, you have no idea.
1. It's all in the name

**I do not own Degrassi or anything related to it. **

****i reallly enjoyed writing this story hopefullyy you like it too. **

Chapter 1

There I was, about to step into an abyss of drama, and I didn't even know it. But I had no other choice. My dad got transferred here, and so did I. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. It's a lot colder, and there's so much more stuff to do. But it's just too much at once, I suppose. So there I was about to walk into Degrassi, scared for my life. And yet when I did, it felt right.

I wasn't really paying much attention to all the posters and flyers. I just wanted to get to class, and be invisible.

See there's always that one girl who sits in the back of the room, which no one really notices. The one people didn't even know existed. That was me.

I guess you could say I'm shy. But it wasn't always like that. Not till recently.

My best friend, my boyfriend, the one person I thought would never, ever leave me.

Moved away, and said nothing. I found out by other friends.

Just like that, everything changed.

As I did too

*thump*

All my books and papers fell everywhere on the floor.

"I am soo sorry. I wasn't watching were I was going." He apologized, but I couldn't really hear anything he said. He looked like someone I knew. So familiar.

I had to go back to reality.

"Umm, yeah, its okay. No big deal" I said smiling.

Then this girl came up to him looking kind of annoyed.

"Come on let's go, before there's no more spots left!" She looked like she was ready to rip his head off.

He just smiled, and said "See you around"

The bell rang.

I looked at my schedule, and great.

English.

And after that I had lunch, who was I going to sit with? No one, that's who.

I walked in to the classroom, I knew I was late, hopefully the teacher won't say anything.

I scanned quickly around to see if I could get a seat in the back, when the teacher just had to point me out.

"Ohhh, you must be our new transfer student. Come in, find a seat."

I just smiled, and finally found a seat behind some guy.

"Well class, its time that we now begin with the . . . "

She went on and on and on, about how the spring semester was going to be, I just wanted to get out of there and go home.

"Ok, so now that we have that covered, I will be going around, and each of you will pick out a name from the basket and that will be your new English partner for the semester.

I was nervous.

Who was I going to get. I looked around and to my surprise I saw him. He guy from before.

And the girl too.

Hm, it looks like she got paired up with the guy in front of me. Adam. I think that's his name.

The teacher finally got to me; I reached my hand in there and pulled out a name.

I read the name.

It couldn't be. No way on earth could this be happening?


	2. So You Remember?

**I don't own anything Degrassi, or anything related to it. **

Chapter 2

The teacher looked at the paper over my shoulder.

"Ahh, Mr. Goldsworthy, you will be paired up with our newest writer." The teacher said.

He got up and sat in the seat next to me.

"So what do you think you want to write about?" He asked me. I just looked at him.

He doesn't even remember me at all. Like I never existed to him.

"Eli?" I said kind of scared.

"Yeahhh?" He looked kind of confused.

I couldn't bare to look at him, I walked out with all my stuff, crying.

I went straight to the bathroom, went into one of the stalls.

I couldn't believe it. This is where he was, and that girl, is probably his new girlfriend, huh….

Then I heard his voice.

"Clare, go look, I think she's in there."

I guess he remembered who I was after all. I can't face him like this.

I quickly lifted my feet up trying not to let her see me. Not her of all people, I presume.

"Noo, I don't see anything."

I heard him sigh in frustration.

That's Eli for sure. Always upset when things just don't go the way it should.

Then

"Caroline, get out of the stall!" he yelled, if he remembers me, then he knows that's not going to work.

"How do you know she's in there?" Clare asked.

"She is, I know it."

"Caroline, I know what I did was wrong. But come out, I need to talk to you."

I couldn't take it anymore.

I opened the stall door.

"No Eli, if you wanted to talk, then you should have done before you left."

I walked out of the bathroom.

It was lunch, and I had no where to be.

So I sat on one of the benches outside.

And soon he followed me.

"Caroline. Please." He kept begging, and somehow, he always reels me in.

"Ok, Eli." He sat next to me. And soon Clare followed him, but was stopped by Adam.

"Is that your new girlfriend?" I knew the answer. Yes.

He just looked down. He always did that when he didn't want to answer.

"I guess so." I told him.

"Look, I didn't mean for it to happen the way it did." I cut him off.

"So then why did you? Eli, I spent hours trying to understand why you would do that to me. Not much because we were together, but because we were best friends. Best friends since we were 5! And you just leave; leave everything behind, like it didn't even matter to you. Like you didn't care about us."

"I did care!" he claimed.

"Then if you did, then why did you do it!" I tried not to cry.

"I guess I didn't know how."

I could see Clare's face through the glass doors.

"Are you happy with her?"

I didn't want to know, really, but better to find out now.

"Carol, please."

"No, Eli, I spent a year, waiting to hear from you. And now you think apologizing would make it better?"

"I know. Its" I cut him off again.

"You keep claiming that but yet you" He cut me off.

"LISTEN. I loved you. You were not only my girlfriend, but my best friend. What guy wouldn't want that? I wanted to tell you that I was moving but it was just too hard, before I knew it, it was already too late. Understand, please I didn't mean it."

I didn't know what to say.

So I just hugged him.

I still had so much more questions, more anger, but not now.


	3. We Just Gotta Spill it Out

**I don't own Degrassi, or anything related to it. **

Chapter 3

I knew what she wanted to know.

Who was I? Why was Eli so worried about me? Why did we hug?

She's worried. I can see it in her face.

After our little talk, Eli walked me to my next class.

"So what brings you to Degrassi?" He asked trying not to pry too much.

"My dad got transferred." I tried not to look to sad but it was hard.

"Really? So our dad's will be working together again! Cool, bet my mom will be excited to see your mom, the two of them will probably go insane to see each other." He said trying to act all cool, but he didn't know.

"Eli, your mom's going to be far from excited." I looked down.

"Why?" He looked confused. But as much as it pained me to say this, not much for him but for me, I had to tell him; after all we will always be best friends.

"My mom died." I looked away. I didn't want to see his face. Ever since we were little, our families have been so close. Eli and I were like attached at the hip all the time.

"When?" he asked.

"A couple of months ago."

"How are you and your dad holding up?"

I didn't want him to know that I couldn't bare the fact that she was gone. My mom helped me through everything. When Eli left, she was there. She was always there.

"I can't lie to you, its not easy, but I think the move will help a lot."

We got to my classroom. Eli hugged me once again, but this time, I saw her, she was coming around the corner. Her face. She was upset that once again, her boyfriend was with some other girl. A girl she knew nothing about.

After class, I was walking to my locker, when I saw her by my locker. She was waiting for me.

"Can I help you?" I asked, trying not to sound rude.

"Yes, who are you? And why are you all over Eli?"

Oh dear goodness.

"Look, let's just say Eli and I have known each other for a long time."

"And what makes you think that gives you the right to be all over him?"

I just looked down; I didn't want to tell her.

She just looked at me confused.

"Look, I don't know who you are, but I've been pushed aside from boyfriends before. And I'm not letting that happen with Eli." She looked like she was going to cry.

"Listen, I'm . . uhh,"

"She's my cousin." Eli approached from behind.

What was he saying?

He looked at me, as if asking me to go along.

"Yeahh, we're cousins, practically almost siblings." I laughed quietly.

"Ohh." I saw the embarrassment in her face.

"I have to go." I waved and walked off.

I guess I'm just not that important for him to tell his own girlfriend about me.

I got home to find Eli's parents in my living room.

Eli's mom on the couch crying.

I guess my dad told her.

I tried to sneak upstairs into my room.

Luckily, no one ever did notice me walk in.

I was finally in a place where I could just concentrate on me, and how I can make it through high school without any drama.

*Knock Knock*

Wonder who that was?

"Come in!" I yelled from my closet

The door open, and to my surprise it was Eli.

"What are you doing here?" I tried not to sound too happy. I didn't want him to think I had feelings for him.

"I didn't want to be home alone." He looked at me with that smile he always had. He walked around, and noticed all the pictures I had of all our old friends. And then he stopped, and saw one of the oldest pictures I had. The one of Eli and me playing in the park.

"You still have this?"

"Yeahh, it was one of the best days ever." I looked at him, and went back to unpacking.

"Why did you tell her I was your cousin?" I blurted it out, I couldn't help it, I needed to know; it hurt inside.

"I couldn't tell her the truth." He couldn't even look me in the eye.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. The truth is I still loved him. And the fact that she's in his life now. It kills me.

I kept unpacking trying to forget that he was in my room. I needed to clear my mind of everything.

He walked up to me and started helping me unpack.

I didn't even want to see his face.

Looking at him gave me butterflies in my stomach.

'It's okay Caroline, just unpack, and then maybe go for a walk.' I thought to myself.

Before I knew it, the box was empty.

"Well, I think I'm going to go for a walk." I told him.

"I'll go with you."

'NOOOOO' I kept yelling to myself.

"Uh, yeahh sure." I couldn't say no, at least not to him.


	4. O' Father of Mine

**I don't own degrassi.**

**I wishh :) **

**hope you enjoy the chapterr, and pleassee revieww! **

**thnks :) **

**Chapter 4**

As the weeks went by, I tried to stay home with my dad.

Spend some quality time with him.

"So, how's school?" He asked as he took a big bite of the lasagna we made for dinner.

"It's good, I guess. School is school no matter where you go." I smiled, as I ate.

Since my mom left, my dad and I have tried to make the most of it.

Not spending time moping around, feeling sorry for ourselves, my mom wouldn't want that.

The funny thing is that my dad isn't much of an expert on teenage girls.

"Well, I hear that Degrassi has a lot of, umm, a lot of. " He tried clearing his throat.

I looked at him, trying to understand what he was talking about.

"A lot of, umm, good looking guys."

I dropped my fork and everything on top of it.

My dad did not just say 'good looking guys'.

"What?" I asked, maybe I heard wrong.

"I was at the supermarket and I overheard some young ladies commenting on the fellas at our school. They said they were 'smoking hot'. Doesn't that translate into good looking?"

OH MY GOODNESS

"You did not just use the terms, 'smoking hot', 'fellas', or 'good looking'?"

"What's wrong with me using those words?" He was not aware of how he sounds saying it.

"You're a parental guardian, not a 20 year old bartender; I think its best if you stay with the words associated with your generation." I said, laughing, and smiling, as I got up to wash our plates.

"I can say smoking hot!" He yelled. Does he want the neighbors to hear?

"No you can." And hope he doesn't say it in public.

"Yeahh, I can." He laughed.

*Ding dong*

"Watch."

OHH NO

"DAD seriously no!" I ran after him.

I almost tripped but I made it to the door before him.

"You better not embarrass me!" I whispered.

I opened the door, not even looking into the peep hole.

"HEYY!" a high pitch voice yelled.

I rolled my eyes. I turned around, and faced my dad.

"It's your 'girlfriend'; you can say whatever you want now." I whispered.

It was the mailwoman.

She's been 'hand delivering our mail, instead of just leaving it in the mailbox.

I finished washing the dishes, and went upstairs to finish some homework.

Maybe one day, she's put the mail in the mailbox.


	5. Just Remember

**I don't own Degrassi, or anything related to it **

**here's the new chapterrr**

**pllleeaaaaaaassssse review **

**i'd like to know what you guys think of the story, and what your suggestions. **

**soo enjoyyy!**

**Chapter 5 **

My dad took me to school early, so that way I could take some time to study before the big history test.

"I'm sure you'll do fine. Don't stress too much. Bye." He told me as I got off of the car.

"Bye" I waved as the car took off. I walked into school and I was walking towards the library, but I noticed Eli and Clare at one of the tables. I decided to go somewhere else.

I've been sort of trying to avoid hanging out with them; I just wanted to settle in and deal with all my crap afterwards.

But somehow it always follows me.

I tried walking away without making eye contact.

I held my breathe and walked passed them, and when I made it to the other side, I let out a sigh. I didn't know what to do anymore.

My history test went well.

But now I had English, not something I was looking forward.

I went inside before the bell rang.

Sat down, tried to finishing up the assignment Ms. Dawes gave us yesterday.

It was to write a poem.

A poem about anything you wanted.

Eli and Clare came in together, and sat down.

Then the bell rang, and it was show time.

"Ok classes, hopefully you all have your poems done, and ready to go. Who will be the first one up?" She asked smiling. She knew that no one likes to be the first one.

I looked at my paper and raised my hand, without knowledge that Eli raised his hand too.

"Well, that's a first." Ms. Dawes said smiling. "Eli, why don't we let Caroline go first, since she is our new writer?"

Eli shook his head.

Oh, the honor.

I stood up, and everyone watched as I walked to the front of the room.

I cleared my throat and scared as I began to read this poem,

_**The laughs, the smiles are all I remember from when we were kids. **_

_**The late night talks, the dates, the crying are all I remember from our adolescence. **_

_**The tears, the sadness, the heartbreak are all I remember from when she left. **_

_**The anger, the blame, the sorrow is all I remember from when **__**you**__** left.**_

_**Now all I can think about is how you're back.**_

_**Back into my life, and all I can remember is how you made me feel.**_

_**I know you're with her**_

_**She makes you feel special. **_

_**I don't ask for anything**_

_**Just for you to remember. **_

And with that I sat down to my seat.

And toned out everything Ms. Dawes was saying.

Before I knew it, class was over.

It was lunch and I went to the library.

I didn't want to run into Eli.

I knew what would happen if I did.

He'd want to talk about the poem, which I didn't want to talk about.

I sat down at one of the round tables, and decided to work on some homework.

Some guy walked up to me, I think he was in my math class.

He started talking to me, but I had my headphones plug in.

I pulled the out.

"Excuse me; I had my headphones, in." I smiled and laughed.

"No problem, I was just wondering if, you had the math homework that was due yesterday." He laughed.

"Yeah, I do." I looked into my backpack and found it.

"Here. Just don't say you got it from me." I laughed as I handed him the paper.

"Thanks. I'll give it back before the end of the day, I promise." He walked away.

And I was back to my work.

For the rest of the day I kept thinking about that guy.

I wonder what his name was.

I think he's in football, or basketball.

Or was he in a band?

I can't really remember.

Finally the day was over.

I could go home and lie down on my bed, and just relax.

I was ready to go to my room when the doorbell rang.

Please, oh please don't let it be the mail lady.

I looked in the peep hole.

I opened the door with a smile.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"A promise is a promise." He said as he handed me my math homework.

I raised my eyebrow.

"How did you find out where I live?" I was indeed curious.

"I umm, kind of followed you." He said turning pink.

I laughed.

"So you followed me home, to give me my math homework. Wow, impressive."

"Yeah, so I guess I'll go now." He didn't want to, I could tell.

"You don't seem so sure about it." I laughed.

"Yeah, well I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to the Dot, or something."

Now I turned pink.

"Yeahh that would be nice. Let me just grab my coat."

I went inside and grab my bag, and coat.

And we walked.

It was nice.

Nice to talk to a guy, who wasn't Eli.

Only thing is, I still don't know his name.


	6. Falling

**here's chapter 6. **

***I dont own degrassi or anyhting related to it. **

**umm, i'd really like it if you'd review this story. **

**I have most of it typed out, but i'd like to know what works and what doesn't. **

**if you could do that, that would be awesome **

**thanks :) **

**Chapter 6**

We were sitting in the Dot, having such a great time.

I really needed this.

To be normal for once.

"So, where are you from?" He asked me.

"I'm from many places." I laughed trying to be mysterious.

He laughed too, and smiled at me.

"Okay, so how do like Degrassi so far? You're new aren't you"

"Yea. Its's ok, I guess. School is school."

We both laughed, and asked each other questions, until it got late.

He walked me home.

"So, this is mee." I stated the obvious.

"Yeah, it is."

He leaned in like he wanted to kiss me.

But I backed up.

"Look, I don't want anything serious right now. I'm still trying to get back up after my last relationship." I frowned.

He was really nice; even though it was the first time we've talked.

"Yeah, I get it. We've just met. But we can be friends, and see where it goes from there." He said smiling, trying to convince me into his plan.

It sounded like a good plan.

"Yeah, that'll work." I smiled.

We hugged and I walked inside my house, and he walked home.

I went to my room.

It was an amazing day.

"CAROL? YOU HOME?" My dad screamed from downstairs.

He might have the strength to do it, but I don't.

I walked downstairs to find him.

"Yeah, I'm here." I told him.

He was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper.

"Good, did you have fun with that boy?"

I blushed.

"What?" I asked. Pretend like nothing happen. Always deny.

"Go ahead, pretend like you don't know. I'll pretend like I didn't look out the window, when I heard you leaving." He said smiling.

I just sighed and looked at him.

My dad isn't much involved in my love life that was my mother's job.

I don't even think he knew about Eli and me.

But that's totally irreverent now

"What's his name?" He asked.

Crap. I didn't know his name.

"What's with all the questions?" I asked

He looked at me.

"Ok, go do your homework; I'm going to start dinner soon."

I was walking up the stairs.

"OH, Carol. Before I forget Eli called. He said he really needed to talk to you."

Crap. Eli.

"Yeah, thanks."

I was having fun being normal for once that I forgot about Eli.

I'll just talk to him tomorrow.


	7. Do You Like Me?

****I do not own Degrassi or anything related to it. **

**Chapter 7**

I went to school.

So not ready for today.

After English I went to the bathroom, and when I went to my locker, I find the one and only waiting there for me.

"What are you doing here?" I said with a quite smile.

"You didn't call me back." He said as I opened my locker, looking for my textbook.

"Sorry, I had a lot of homework." I said looking at him, half smiling.

"Look, we need to talk."

"What else is new?" I tried not to sad mad, but that's all we've ever done.

Talk, talk, talk, about the same crap.

About how we still can't move on from our past.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"We always talk about the same stuff, Eli. Haven't you notice?" I asked closing my locker.

"Yeah, but obviously there are some stuff we need to clear up."

"Like what?"

"Like, that poem you wrote."

"What about the poem?"

"Carol, you know exactly what about."

"I did the assignment. Now if you find you connect to the poem in a personal level, then it's not me, its you." I said smiling.

"Carol, I'm serious."

We started walking to an empty bench.

"I'm serious too Eli." I smiled.

Normally, I would be mad with him, but something about today just got me in a good mood.

We sat on a bench outside the library.

"Do you still like me?" he asked. He looked at me with those eyes.

"What do you think?" I asked

"I don't know. Possibly." He looked at me. I sighed because truth was I did. But he has Clare.

"Do you like me?" I asked back.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I don't know. Possibly" I looked at him with truthful eyes. "Look, you're with Clare. Let the chips fall where they may." I told him plain and simple.

"But, I feel like there's more."

"More to what?" I asked.

"To this, to us." He sighed. "After I told Clare about Julia, she said she understood that I needed time to get over it, but I never told her about you. I was scared. Scared she would think I'd do the same to her."

Hearing Julia's name, still gave me the chills.

"Then tell her. You won't feel this need of wanting more, if you tell her."

"I can't. I'm scared."

"We're all scared Eli. It seems like you're scared that after you tell her, she won't want to be with you. Or better yet, you won't want to be with her."

We just stood there in silence.

Then the guy from yesterday walked up to me.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, um, do you want to go outside?"

I looked at Eli.

"Just tell her." I whispered to him.

I got up and walked outside.


	8. Not Even Close

**I do not own Degrassi. **

** here's the next chapter, and thank you to those **

**who actually review. **

**i really appreciate it :)**

**Chapter 8**

For the rest of the week, I had been in a good mood.

I found out his name.

Though the conversation with Eli was a real buzz kill.

But after talking to Eli, I realized that it wasn't fair.

Eli and I had this connection.

There are obviously mutual feelings from both sides.

And then there's -

I heard my phone ring.

I didn't recognize the number

I was hesitant to answer.

But I did anyway.

"Hello?" I said very softly.

"Hey Caroline, it's Clare."

Oh no.

"Oh hi. How did you get my number?"

"I got it from Eli."

"Oh. So is there a reason you called?" I tried not to sound rude, but it was weird she was calling me.

"Oh right. I wanted to talk to you. You want to go to the Dot?"

Oh. Eli must have told her. I smiled, maybe things will be better with the truth out in the open.

"Yeah, I'll meet you there."

We met up there.

It was weird. Clare and I weren't really friends.

And after all this, I don't know if she'll want to be my friend.

After we got our drinks, we sat down.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked her taking a sip of my coffee.

"Well, I heard around school that you've been hanging out with KC lately."

"Yeah, he's in my math class."

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you know what you're doing."

I was confused on what we were talking about. Did Eli tell her?

"Did you talk to Eli?"

"Yeah, I did. Actually, between you and me, he's the one who told me about you and KC. He's worried that you'll end up hurt." She said, not wanting to, but she said it.

"And how exactly am I going to end up hurt?"

"Well, KC and I dated, until he dumped me for Jenna." She said. The looked in her eyes felt like she still feels the pain from the heartbreak.

"Jenna, she's the pregnant one, right?"

"Yeah." She said trying not to look sad.

"He never mentioned her." I muttered under my skin. I did not believe this.

"Well that's KC for you." She took a sip of her drink.

"Well, thanks for the heads up. But he and I are nothing more than friends. I don't really like him like that."

I didn't like him like him, just in between.

Some how I felt bad that she was sitting here with me, and she has no idea about the truth of her boyfriend's past.

"Um, did you and Eli talk about anything else?" I asked wondering if he did what we had discussed.

"No, not really." She shook her head.

"Well then. Um, I . . I think .." I didn't know what to do now. Do I tell her? Do I tell her to talk to Eli? What do I do? "I think, I should talk to KC tomorrow at school."

"Yeah, that would be a good idea."

I couldn't be the one to tell her. That wouldn't be fair to Clare or Eli.

But now I had to talk to Eli.

I sent him a text.

**Hey, we need to talk ASAP**. **I'm coming over.**

"As much as this was fun, I have to go." I got up.

"Yeah, we should do this some other time."

We both smiled at each other.

Yeah, we're not going to hang out after the truth is revealed.

I got to Eli's house.

Rang the doorbell

Then Cece opened the door.

"OHH Caroline! What a surprise!" She said yelling with joy as she hugged me. "Come in, come in!"

We sat on the couch, and she just kept smiling.

"So, what brings you here?"

"Um, actually I needed to talk to Eli, but I saw Morty's not in the driveway."

"Eli took him to go get fixed, but he should be back any moment."

"Ok, I'm just going to wait here."

"That's fine, you know you're always welcomed here."

I just gave a sad smile.

I look at her, and instantly thought of my mom

"So, have you met Clare?" She asked.

Cece wasn't just any mother. She knew everything.

I just nodded my head.

"Nice girl, but I think that you and Eli need to figure out your feelings for each other." He probably told her, or she probably figured it out on her own. She knew everything.

I just smiled.

"I met this guy." I blurted out.

I really needed a mother figure right then and there.

"Really?" She smiled eagerly.

"Yeah, it was nice, talking to a guy, to start fresh. But he tried to kiss me when he dropped me off. I couldn't; I couldn't because at that moment I kept thinking of Eli. And now Clare tells me this guy is a jerk and I talked to Eli the other day and there could be something and I don't know what to do. I just really need to be. .. really need to be able to know what I'm doing."

I was talking so fast that my head was spinning and so many thoughts kept running through my head. I ended up in Cece's arms, crying.

And Eli behind us, listening in on our whole conversation.

I wiped my tears away.

Cece hugged me and then, got up and touched Eli's shoulders as he headed towards me.

I didn't know what say to him.

"So, you heard everything?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I did."

"And?"

"Well I think that my mom's right. We need to clear the stuff between us because we'll never be friends again like before if we don't."

"And what exactly are we clearing up here?"

He looked at me like he was confused, like if we were talking about two different things.

"About the feelings we have towards each other. What else?"

What else? Here it is, the biggest argument we've ever had before.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe about the fact you haven't told Clare about us? Maybe about how you never even bothered to write, call or email me to tell me you were leaving and never coming back? How about, the fact that you see me, and you know it kills me to see you with her, and yet do nothing. Like watching a puppy get kicked around and just standing there and watching. Its not about just the feelings we have for each other, it's about the stuff we do, in regards to all of it."

He took a big sigh.

"I know that I should have told you in some sort of way, that I was leaving and yet I didn't. I regret that everyday. But I can't regret finding Clare, Carol. I can't. She's been a help for me. Even though there are unresolved feelings between us, I don't know what to do, honestly. I'm lost. With Clare, I feel like there's nothing I **can't** do. Like my life had never crumble down into a bunch of pieces. She reminds me that I don't have to be perfect; that I don't have to let my mistakes control my life."

"And I do." I said almost a whisper.

"No, I didn't mean it like that." He tried defended himself.

"Just admit it Eli, every time you look at me, or even think about me, all you see is Julia."

I knew this was going to be brought up.

"No, not exactly."

"Eli, seriously. After she left, you'd call me Julia. You can't tell me, that when you see me, you see her; that you've suddenly forgot about her, as soon as the "remarkable, sensational, happy-go-lucky" Clare came walking into your life?"

"Caroline, you know that's not it!" His voice became sterner.

"Well, then what's the problem with me, Elijah."

We never usually called each other by our full names, only when we got mad at each other.

"Caroline, don't."

"What? YOU were the one that wanted to clear things up! CLEAR THIS UP THEN ELI!" I yelled as I got up, and stood in front of him.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? THAT, YEA I SHOULD TELL CLARE ABOUT YOU, THAT YEA, I LIKE YOU, AND I NEVER STOPPED! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?"

I just looked at him.

"No, not even close."

I walked out.


	9. Apple Pie

**I don't own Degrassi. **

**Chapter 9**

I sat on their front porch.

Cece came out a few minutes later.

"Honey, are you ok?" She asked as she rubbed my back.

I tried not to cry, I really did. I didn't want to give myself a headache.

"Yeah, I guess."

"I heard everything. Eli doesn't know what he's doing either."

"Yeah, and he doesn't know me either." I just let out a big sigh. "After Julia died, Eli would always call me Julia. He said we looked too much a like, and it was an accident. Then he would get me cloths that were just like hers. And the cloths she left in his room, he would give me them. Soon enough I looked like her clone. He wanted Julia back, and took advantage of our similar features. I didn't know what to tell him. I had always liked him, before he started dating Julia. I never said anything, and after she died, I was happy that he wanted us to date. It was the only thing that made me feel like life could go on. But I guess those feelings he had were for someone else."

I just looked at the ground.

Cece rubbed my back, trying to comfort me.

"I don't know what to do. After you guys left, I became who I was, and not Julia. She was my best friend. And I thought Eli was too. Just now, I don't know about that."

"Well, maybe you gotta give him time."

That voice wasn't Cece's.

I looked and it was Eli.

I stood up, trying to make my way to my bike.

Eli kept pulling me back, but I pulled out of his force.

But he kept pulling me.

"Eli, let go!"

But he wouldn't.

He pulled once more. Except this time I didn't pull back.

He pulled me in. Into his gravitational pull.

Into all that was Eli Goldsworthy.

As he pulled me in closer, I whispered "Eli, let me go."

"Not a chance." He whispered back.

I took a breath in.

And then he kissed me.

It felt like old times.

It felt like he meant it, like he wanted me.

But how long will the feeling last?

Finally, we pulled away, smiling.


End file.
